Fatherhood takes on many looks. True Fatherhood, DADDYhood, is a rare and beautiful achievement. I should know...I'm the recipient twice over. I have an amazing Dad and an amazing Dad to my kids. One thing I'm realizing, though, is that parenting a kid is not a one-size fits all. Each kid, as with each parent, has their own unique style, personality, needs, wants, interests.
The thing my own father has shown me is that feeding and investing into your children's interests and God-given personalities is an investment into the child, and the adult they will become. My Dad had a father who was harsh. His father loved him, in his own way. But he was not affection or forthcoming with encouraging words. His father never saw him play basketball. Daddy could have been bitter or accepted that as the example of fatherhood to emulate. Instead, Daddy took the best things his own father gave and showed (hard work, love God faithfully, love wife faithfully) and added all the things that were missing.
Dad encouraged my writing and interest in all things theatrical and literary. He took me on father-daughter dates. He danced and sang at the top of his lungs with me to Loggins and Messina's vinyl album "Sittin' In." He gave me a love of 70s rock, Winnie-the-Pooh, Chronicles of Narnia, and the outdoors.
He played endless hours of basketball and never missed my brother's games (except once when he was on the other side of the world.) He bought guitars and amps and burritos for Matt's weekly band practice. He went to shows and endured an endless stream of teenage friends parading through his home.
And he loved God first, our mother unconditionally second, us third, and the rest of world next. He is kind and compassionate, generous with everything he has. He isn't afraid to discipline as needed, nor is he above apologizing as needed.
Then my now-husband came into our lives. Dad could connect to Lino in a way no one else could. They both had similarly challenging childhoods, poor and with difficult fathers. They both held such love and respect for their fathers. They both missed their fathers. And they both strove to be better dads to their own children.
Daddy never tried to take over that role in Lino's life. Instead, he loved him unconditionally as another son. He gave him freedom to make choices but spoke truth in love without hesitation or reservation. Many of the life decisions made in our own little family have been directly correlated to my father and Lino's relationship and conversations.
Thank you, Daddy, for being such a godly and loving Dad. Thank you for loving me and Matt so well. And thank you for loving your kids-in-law just as deeply.