The Scripture is beautifully filled with vivid description of The Passion. We know what transpired on Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and most importantly Easter Sunday. Nothing is said about what I refer to as “Silent Saturday.” This is simply my imaginings of what a disciple would have written in a private journal that day.
The Journal of Thaddaeus, disciple and follower of Jesus, the Christ.
Saturday.
We have waited for centuries for a Messiah. This man, Jesus, has fulfilled the prophecies of Isaiah thus far. I believe He is who He says He is. And yesterday, He died. Yesterday was filled with such strangeness, anger, forgiveness, supernatural wonders, unexplained phenomenon, and sorrow. My Lord went with such pain and agony. He suffered so completely. I couldn’t stand to watch but I couldn’t look away. I wanted to scream and lash out at those that mocked Him. I wanted to climb up there and free Him. I wanted to take away His suffering. Instead, He was taking away mine.
Jesus cried out, begging for the forgiveness for us! Then He said, “It is finished,” and died. Then the darkness fell. Prematurely, fully. It was as though the Light had gone out from the world. The veil tore. There is no longer a separation in the temple of the Holy of Holies.
And now? Now we wait. We hold our breath, wondering if it’s true. We have waited for centuries, but no day will ever be as long as this one. I have seen Jesus raise other people from the dead. I have seen Him touch the untouchable, heal wounds and sicknesses that could not be cured. I have seen Him cast out demons and feed thousands with practically nothing. I have been with Him, fearing the storms and afraid of death. He spoke a word and the weather obeyed. I have seen Him forgive sins and change hearts and minds and lives. I have seen a million unbelievable wonders. And yet...I can’t help but ask...How?
How is He going to pull this one off? Who is going to raise Him from the dead? Can He really conquer it? Can He become the Last Sacrificial Lamb? Can He forgive every sin, past and future? Can He be enough for the entire world? I want to believe. I do believe...don’t I?
Today is the longest day... Tomorrow, we get our answer, one way or another. But today just seems cruel. I am with the other 10. We have secluded ourselves. No one is saying much. We are so confused in our souls! We grieve deeply for the loss of our friend, our brother, our teacher. But we are holding onto that mustard seed-sized grain of hope He was so fond of reminding us to have. We are filled with sorrow...but we won’t let ourselves mourn. Not yet. Not until tomorrow. Not unless He doesn’t rise. He will...won’t He?